Fathers: The First Trimester
By Robert G. Rodriguez
you and your partner are now pregnant! Your baby is beginning its
life inside the womb. All the care and nurturing your baby needs
is happening in your partner's belly! The transition to parenthood
and becoming a father is slowly starting to take hold of you. Your
going to be a dad...Yikes!- -Wow!--Incredible! What should you expect
during this first trimester?
men have a positive reaction to finding out about the pregnancy,
but they may also have doubts and confusion. An unplanned pregnancy
can begin with feelings of ambivalence. For expectant fathers pregnancy
seems to stimulate feelings of both fear and hope. Understanding
your feelings during this time can help you begin to see how your
role from "man to dad" is developing.
anxieties in the first trimester are fears about your partner's
health, worries about money, and concerns about what type of father
you will be.
the first few months, as your partner's body adjusts to the pregnancy
she may experience morning sickness, sleeplessness, mood swings,
fatigue and changes in eating habits. Although these symptoms are
normal, you may not be use to seeing your wife this uncomfortable.
You may wonder what you can do to help.
expectant dads start to look ahead and feel worried about how having
a baby will affect their finances. If both you and your partner
have been working, you may begin to think about how you will be
affected by the change in income if your wife will be off work for
a while. Concerns about the need for a larger house, a new car or
how to anticipate what new expenses you will have once the baby
has arrived are common anxieties in the early stages of pregnancy.
many expectant fathers are concerned about what type of father they
will be. You may begin to think about what it was like for your
father when you were born. How prepared was your dad when he became
a father? What opportunities do you feel you have as an expectant
dad that your father didn't?
these new "anxieties" are the normal feelings that are
"stirred-up" by finding out that you will be a father
in less than a year.
our society we don't make many accommodations for expectant dads.
We are not sure what they need and what their role should be during
pregnancy. It has been my experience that the sooner expectant dads
can be involved the more included they will feel in their new "family."
Going to the doctor's visits with your partner, talking with other
fathers, beginning to look at a few of the new books on parenting
are all ways to begin your transition to parenthood.
are a few practical tips that pregnant dads have shared with me
during the 1st trimester of pregnancy.
Talk with your partner about the hopes and dreams, fears and anxieties,
of having a child together.
Make time to regularly go on walks together.
Talk about how your lives can slow down, how you can both do less
in the coming months and enjoy the pregnancy.
* Try and continue some of the health routines you've savored as
a couple, such as going to a restaurant for dinner regularly, taking
in a movie, or simply seeing friends on the weekends.
Choose the friends you want to share the news about "being
pregnant". Be sensible, but celebrate with them. Let them share
in your moment.
Go to a bookstore by yourself and search through the section on
pregnancy and expecting a baby
Remember, you are expecting
Rodriquez, Ph.D., M.P.H., is a psychologist and research expert
with over 30 years experience working with expectant couples. Dr.
Rodriguez is available for conference speaking engagements, seminar
presentations, and training sessions, including Continuing Educations
Unit programs. For more information, visit: www.DrDad.info