List of Things for Divorced Parents to Be Thankful For
By Brette Sember
a single parent, you may have good times and bad times, but there
are always things to be thankful for:
are your child's only mom or dad. It doesn't matter if there
are stepparents in the picture. You are the only one who can ever
fill the role of "mom" or "dad" for your child.
It's a special gift and one to be grateful for every single day.
don't have to live with your ex anymore. You no longer live
in a home where fighting or strained silences are the norm, and
neither does your child. The cloud has lifted and you are free to
have time with your child. No matter how much time you have
to spend with your child, you are an important part of his life.
Focus on enjoying the time you do have, instead of feeling bad about
the time you don't.
have time to yourself. Because your child most likely spends
some time with the other parent, you have scheduled time that is
child-free. These are blocks of time when you can focus on yourself
and your needs, and recharge your batteries a bit.
child has every chance to grow up healthy and happy. You've
probably read lots of things about how divorce is bad for children.
However, I have always maintained that it is better for a child
to have two happy parents who live in separate houses, than it is
to have two parents who live together in one house and scream, fight,
argue and wound each other. The divorce has affected your child,
but he or she is going to have a happier life now that the storm
in charge in your own household. While being a single parent
is a lot of responsibility, it is also gives you ultimate authority
in your own home. You don't have to negotiate or reason with the
other parent about how you want to do things. You can just make
the decisions and run your house by your own rules.
child has two parents. Although you may not always feel positively
about your ex and you may believe he or she does not always make
the best choices, your child has the benefit of having two parents
and two homes. Think of all the children in this world who have
lost parents or who never knew them.
and your child made it through the divorce. There were probably
times when you wondered if you were going to survive it, but you
both made it through. The worst is behind you and the future is
Sember is a former family and matrimonial attorney and mediator
and is the author of How to Parent with Your Ex: Working Together
in Your Child's Best Interest (Sourcebooks, 2005), No-Fight Divorce:
Spend Less Money, Save Time, and Avoid Conflicts Using Mediation
(McGraw-Hill, 2005) and The Divorce Organizer & Planner (McGraw-Hill,
2004). Her web site is www.BretteSember.com.